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An Emotional Roller Coaster

February 27th, 2010


For the first time in about three years I woke up and got out of bed before my husband on a Saturday. Normally he lets me rest on the weekends, because I am always complain of how tired I am. He is such a sweetheart to get up with our son every weekend. While they are eating breakfast and watching cartoons, I am normally snoozing. I will lay in bed on the weekend until close to noon. Today, on Day three of being Gluten-Free, I woke up at 8 AM feeling rested! I haven’t felt rested in years!!!! Not only was I able to get out of bed early, I considered starting laundry early because I felt so energized. My son had other plans. We spent time reading on the couch eating strawberries.

While I definitely feel more energized, I am still no where even close to feeling like I did before I become pregnant with my son. My fibromyalgia was diagnosed after a difficult pregnancy that involved pre-eclampsia. I am also still having joint pain, but I am not as stiff in my muscles. My fear is that my body will probably never be the same again. The past year I have resented my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia as I have thought that my life has been taken from me! The emotions I feel are very intense today as I hope that going gluten-free is the treatment that I need to return to feeling well again.

Unfortunately as I made my way to the grocery store for the third time this week, the reality of going completely gluten-free is starting to sink in slowly. I began sobbing in front of the butter. Thinking butter was safe yesterday, I picked up a generic butter on sale without looking at the ingredients. I picked up some butter today at the store thinking I could use some more because I was going to be baking for my son’s birthday. I glanced at the ingredients, butter, salt, NATURAL FLAVORS. I started crying, thinking “What does that mean? Is gluten even lurking in my butter?” For Pete’s sake.

Then sticker shock hit me smack in the face as I checked out with my small number of items. I actually exclaimed “Oh My Gosh” as the cashier told me my total. I spent three times what I would normally. But is it worth it for my health? I think so.

I’ve also started thinking how much easier it is to just take all the medicine these doctors I have been going to have been throwing at my symptoms because they don’t understand what is causing my problems. Now my health is in my own hands. This is about truly taking care of myself.

I also spent the day mourning the fact that tomorrow my family will be ordering Pizza Hut to celebrate my sister-in-law’s birthday. I will be making my own pizza using Kinnikinnick’s pizza crust. While this is very tasty, I’m sure I will feel like I am missing out.

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